“you’re a hot mess”

Those were my Doctors words to me on Monday evening, “You’re a hot mess.”  I have been laughing about that ever since then.

Over the weekend, my blood pressure started to rise again.   I was so frustrated because I had several days of normal readings and then on Saturday, boom, it was back to being super high again.  I saw no point in calling the Dr. office because my Dr. was out until Monday and I had an appointment to see him then anyway.  So, I just tried to do as little as possible and relax around the house.

Sunday was my parent’s 35th wedding anniversary!   My dad is still at home in Minnesota so we celebrated here with my mom.  My blood pressure was down that evening and I felt really good, so we went to supper to one of my and Arturo’s favorite restaurants, The Melting Pot.  My mom had never been there and had always wanted to, so it was really fun to take her there and celebrate with her.

Monday was appointment day!  Because they had to squeeze me in on the schedule last minute, I had to see my Dr. first and have the ultrasound after.  Arturo was off work so he got bombarded with all three of us!

I was pretty honest with him about my frustrations and I told him how the other Dr. had told me she didn’t know why I had been at the hospital at the first place.  His eyes got really big and he said, “Um, yeah.  You were there because your blood pressures were super high.”  He also said that things probably were going to remain frustrating and confusing because of the “second patient.”  He was referring to baby girl.

He took a look at my blood pressure readings since I had been released from the hospital and gave me orders to increase my medication one more time.  So, now, I am taking 600 mg in the AM and 400 mg in the PM.

He said it was really hard to make a decision as to what should happen because he really didn’t want to have to put my 34 week old baby in the NICU, but he also didn’t want me to get so sick that I could have a seizure, stroke, or some other pre-eclampsia complication.  He said he would like to see what the results of my ultrasound were for the day and then call and consult with the high risk Dr. before making any decisions.  He asked if he could call me later that day.

He is also somewhat concerned about my weight loss.  I am down 17 lbs and he doesn’t want me to lose anymore weight.  Well, I haven’t been trying to lose weight and I can’t really figure out how I am doing it.  I’m for sure not exercising, unless you count my frequent trips to the bathroom.  And I am eating whatever I want really.  So, I don’t know how to stop losing?

I am so grateful to have a Dr. that is caring and smart and humble.  He doesn’t want to make a rash decision either way and is humble enough to admit that it is a hard decision and he seeks a second opinion when he just doesn’t know what is best.

We went in for the ultrasound after that and of course baby girl was stubborn as always. This time, she wouldn’t wake up.  She was sleeping hard and despite the ultrasound tech shaking my belly around until I was extremely nauseous, she just wouldn’t get moving.  Her heart was beating fine and she did make the movements she was supposed to, it just took much longer than it had on Thursday.  We got some cute pictures of her face that included a look at her chubby cheeks.  I can’t wait to kiss them…but I am happy to wait another 3 weeks (hopefully)!

That evening when he called me is when he told me, “You’re a hot mess.”  It was exactly the comic relief I needed.

He said the ultrasound had looked good.  He also said after consulting with the high risk Dr. they came up with a plan that includes me having a non-stress test and labs every Monday and then an ultrasound (bio-physical profile) and labs on Thursday.  He said we are just going to take it day by day and make decisions based on my health and her health.  So far, she is still doing great, so as long as my pre-eclampsia doesn’t get worse, I should be able to stay pregnant until 37 weeks.

He gave me a list of the things that would make him do the C-section immediately. He can’t increase my bp meds any higher, so if this dose doesn’t solve the problem, I can’t continue to stay pregnant.  If I get a crazy headache that won’t go away with Tylenol or caffeine, I will have to have her.  If I get double vision or dizziness, I need to have my C-section.  If I go into labor, he will take that as my body’s way of saying this baby needs to be born.  He won’t stop my labor, especially since I have already had the steroid shots and that she will be born then.  If anything looks off in my twice weekly testing of labs (higher protein in my urine, elevated liver enzymes, etc.) it will be time to have a baby.  And if she doesn’t perform the way she should at the non-stress tests and ultrasounds or if her fluid levels drop, it will be time for her to be born.

So, in a way, this is going to be a lot like waiting for a natural birth.  We don’t know when it will happen.  It could be any day or it could be a few weeks from now still.  It is definitely not the planned birth I was hoping for, but I am for sure willing to comply with his plans and hope that it will keep her in longer than what I was told a few weeks ago.

My blood pressure has still been high from time to time, but I am not sure the higher dose of medication has had a chance to do its job, so we will see what he says on Thursday (tomorrow).

I have been having what I think are Braxton Hicks contractions. I am just not sure because I never had them when I was pregnant with Angel and so I have nothing to compare them to.  It just feels like tightening in my stomach muscles and a lot of pressure.  It is not painful, but uncomfortable.  Standing is really uncomfortable.  Walking is fine, but standing still is nearly impossible.  I had them pretty consistently all day yesterday, but today it feels better.

Also, she has been SUPER active the past couple of days, which definitely is reassuring, but has also become quite painful.  She is running out of room to be as active as she has been.  I’m thinking she is inspired by all the Olympics I have been watching and is practicing to be a gymnast.

I am telling myself every day, several times a day, that whenever she is born will be the perfect time.  God already knows when she will be born and His plan is perfect.  No matter what happens, He is still in charge and I just need to trust Him.  But…fingers crossed for three more weeks 😉